imagesWho do I want you to think I am? Have you ever asked yourself this question prior to meeting a new person for the first time? Have you ever found yourself trying to manage or control the way others view you? Do you find yourself worrying about what other people think of you?

I have had these feelings often for the majority of my life. Growing up, I found myself navigating through life by adapting to my surroundings and the situations I found myself in. I did this by conforming or morphing as needed to best accommodate each individual’s personality and each situation’s circumstances. I didn’t want any trouble and I had a burning desire to have everyone like me. Turns out, I got quite good at accommodating people. This makes me good at my job and it helped me gain a bunch of friends. The issue I found was that while I had all these friends, very few knew who I really was. This was by design – my unconscious design. They knew who I wanted them to know. They knew what I projected to them. They didn’t know me. How could they, I didn’t know me.

That left a lot of my friendships feeling hollow and I started thinking about what was really going on. What I have found is that what I was using for self defense worked very well for me for a while, but it wasn’t very authentic. And it didn’t feel good. I would like to believe (and for the most part it is true) that I have left this bad habit behind me. I want to be authentically myself. The image I projected to others wasn’t honest, it was very limiting, and it wasn’t fair to them or to me. I don’t want to be limited in any way. I don’t want to be dishonest in any way. I want to be free. Free to be the unique manifestation that I am. I think Dr Suess summed it up well when he said “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.

Who do I want you to think I am?

I had coffee a couple weeks ago with a gentleman that I was introduced to by a member of my networking group. We had a really interesting conversation. I am finding that the universe is putting me in very interesting and authentic situations. So – this guy sits down and he doesn’t really look like he wants to be with me. I sense this and ask him if everything is okay. He looks at me and says “actually, my morning has been horrific and the last thing I want to be doing is meeting with a life insurance guy at 10am – no offense”. Oh – I said – none taken – I don’t like life insurance guys either. He laughs and then apologizes. He continues “I was on my way here and I nearly turned around and went back to the office – I am extremely busy. But then I remembered that my wife introduced you to me so I decided to suck it up. So then I asked myself who do I want Rod to think I am?” I started laughing and thanked him for his honesty. He continued ” I decided to just be honest with you about how I felt – it is too hard to keep up appearances and I am too damn old keep trying (he was only 51)”

If you are thinking that this coffee exchange is going poorly, it’s not. Because he and I started out with such an honest exchange, we were really able to bond quickly and have a wonderful conversation. We spent the next 2 hours talking about what it means to be authentic, how to serve others, what love really is and much more. Chris Rock has one of the best lines about dating — he says that when a man dates a woman, he is not really dating that woman — he is dating that woman’s representative. Don’t let your representative define you. Find your authentic self and let it shine.

If this resonates with you, the first thing I would suggest you do is sit quietly and ask yourself “who am I?”. You will likely get several answers (mother, sister, professional, ect). Then ask yourself “who am I really?”. Then ask yourself “is who I am really being projected to the outside world?”

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Do you believe this? Could this possibly be true? What if it were? I happen to believe that it is true and remind myself of this often. You see, the challenges that we are experiencing – the seemingly bad stuff that happens to us….. this stuff happens on purpose, for your best interest, and with your agreement. Yes – I believe that our higher self agrees to be born and agrees to be born to whom and where and under what conditions. Why? To experience contrast. Through experiencing both the good and the bad, we have a better understanding, appreciation, and perspective. In order to truly experience love, or patience, or joy or appreciation we must know what the opposite of feelings are as well. We are sharpening our skills and rounding out our perspective. These challenges are to be experienced and appreciated. We need to allow things to occur in our lives. Not resist. What resists persists. And you know that. This is what is meant by “Let Go and Let God”.

So my challenge for you is to sit with this thought (even if you don’t think its true) and ask yourself a couple of questions:

1) Does this challenge define you? How so?
2) If this challenge were specifically arranged for my direct benefit, why would that be true? What would I want to learn?

I often ask for patience, and what I have found is that God (Universe) doesn’t give me patience, but He does put me in awful traffic a lot. A lot. I struggle with it, but I remind myself that the best way for me to learn patience is to be content sitting in traffic and happy that I have heat, and food and love in my life. I try to be thankful for the opportunity to even be sitting in traffic (after all, it usually is for the purpose of earning money). Not easy, but it feels a lot better being at peace than it does hitting my steering wheel and shouting out loud.

Millionaires of Life

Posted: December 9, 2012 in Abundance

What does wealth mean to you? Here are some great thoughts around that idea!

Life Has A Crush On You

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We so often pray for wealth, but what is it really that we are asking for. Security? Love? Significance? Ease? Exactly what is it that wealth represents to you?

What if instead of wealth we asked to be massively contributive to the lives of others? What is instead of asking for dollars, we asked for skills, love, compassion and understanding to be used in the service of others? What if wealth was measured by the value we add to other’s lives? What if this was our focus- to add wealth in the forms of security, love, significance, adventure, ease and peace to all those we meet everyday? Would we not be millionaires of the Life?

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Very cool. A shift is coming. Can you feel it?

As I look around at my friends, family, coworkers, myself and the world at large, I feel a strong shift.  A shift away from problems, greed, hatred and competition.  A shift towards love, acceptance, abundance and enlightenment.  Do you feel it?

I feel like something significant is occurring right now and we are literally moving into a whole new world.  I am ready to find out what is in store for us.  I am seeing a “best of times, worst of times” scenario for so many I know.  There is a whole new way of living coming just around the corner.  Something so significant that we will reach a tipping point of collective consciousness.  Many of us will remember who we really are and what we are really here to do.brain-manmoon

And then what?

Posted: December 7, 2012 in Freedom
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Have you ever thought about why you go about doing the things you do in life?  Do you know what you are after? Did you ever notice that the things that you supposedly own often end up owning you?  Are you searching for your freedom?

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The Parable of the Mexican Fisherman

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. “Not very long,” answered the Mexican. “But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?” “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs … I have a full life.” The American interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!  You should start by fishing longer every day.  You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. “And after that?” asked the Mexican. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.  Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can  then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City!  From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.” “How long would that take?” asked the Mexican. “Twenty, perhaps 25 years,” replied the American. “And after that?” the Mexican asked. “Afterwards? That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the American, laughing.  “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!” “Millions?  Really?  And after that?” “After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”

Authors I read

Posted: December 7, 2012 in Authors I read

In no particular order, these authors have really helped me understand who I really am. I have read the majority if not all of the books and blogs of these authors

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Dr. Wayne Dyer
Deepak Chopra
Matthew Kelly
Eckhart Tolle
Marianne Williamson
Neale Donald Walsh
Anita Morjani
Ester Hicks
Russell Simmons
Brian Weiss
Carolyn Myss
Donald Miller
Sylvia Brown
Nick Vujicic
Robert Schwartz
Barbara Marx Hubbard
Dan Millman
Ram Das
Gary Zukav
Michael Newton
David Kessler