Archive for the ‘Who you really are’ Category

beautiful-ocean-beautiful-pictures-27115524-1440-900

Do you feel free? Seriously, if you are reading this you are likely in a “free country” — but do you feel free?

Here is one definition Webster uses to define freedom: the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action

Constraint. I think constraint is directly correlated to not having a feeling of freedom. A feeling of peace. A feeling of non obligation. When I am constrained, I am limited. When I am limited, I am less than. When I am less than, I am worried and anxious. When I am worried and anxious I am miserable. When I am miserable, I am no help to anyone. When I am no help to anyone, I am a loser. When I’m a loser….

Thank God I rarely feel constrained anymore. I don’t like where this process leads. It doesn’t feel good. It is a slippery slope to despair, unhappiness, anxiousness, and self doubt. When I am sitting in these feelings, I most certainly am not free.

When I find myself feeling this way, the 1st thing I do is try to bring awareness to what is going on and why I am actually feeling that way. By having some awareness, you have a chance of making a different decision or grabbing a thought that feels better. Without awareness, you are doomed to stay in that feeling and vibration and never really get rid of it or allow it to wash over you.

Then I remind myself that true freedom comes from trusting. I think we collectively have often learned that the world isn’t a safe place and we need to protect ourselves. When we are in protection mode, we put on our suit of armor or put up our protective wall or barrier. From inside our constructed “bunker”, we feel fear, worry and doubt. When you are defensive, you cannot trust. When you cannot trust, you cannot be free.

For me, the issue is usually around “what gives me the right to be successful?” and “I sure hope they like me”. I want to be successful and I want people to like me. Of course, the cousin’s of these phrases would be “I am afraid I will fail” and “I worry they will judge me”.

I can sit in these feelings and feel terrible and be justified in doing so. And be a prisoner of my feelings. Or I can release my need to be liked. I can remember that it is impossible to fail unless you give up. I can focus on being who I really am and release my fear and doubt and release my need for approval. This is not easy, but it feels so much better. It is not easy to trust, but it is crucial if you want to feel good. Do you feel good? Are you happy? Are you at peace? I hope so.

If this resonates with you, I would suggest you do the following:

1) Really try to pinpoint how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way.
2) Ask yourself if you are justified and allowed to feel the way you are feeling.
3) Ask yourself if there is another way you can choose to feel instead.
4) Choose the better feeling and get one step closer to freedom

One of my favorite Authors, Dr Wayne Dyer says it best: “You can choose to be right (justified in how you feel) or you can choose to be happy. Try to choose happy and see how that works for you.

This explains as well as anything I have seen what is really going on. Yes – it is 1.5 hours, but if you are the least bit interested in finding out why we are here and what is going on, invest the time

imagesWho do I want you to think I am? Have you ever asked yourself this question prior to meeting a new person for the first time? Have you ever found yourself trying to manage or control the way others view you? Do you find yourself worrying about what other people think of you?

I have had these feelings often for the majority of my life. Growing up, I found myself navigating through life by adapting to my surroundings and the situations I found myself in. I did this by conforming or morphing as needed to best accommodate each individual’s personality and each situation’s circumstances. I didn’t want any trouble and I had a burning desire to have everyone like me. Turns out, I got quite good at accommodating people. This makes me good at my job and it helped me gain a bunch of friends. The issue I found was that while I had all these friends, very few knew who I really was. This was by design – my unconscious design. They knew who I wanted them to know. They knew what I projected to them. They didn’t know me. How could they, I didn’t know me.

That left a lot of my friendships feeling hollow and I started thinking about what was really going on. What I have found is that what I was using for self defense worked very well for me for a while, but it wasn’t very authentic. And it didn’t feel good. I would like to believe (and for the most part it is true) that I have left this bad habit behind me. I want to be authentically myself. The image I projected to others wasn’t honest, it was very limiting, and it wasn’t fair to them or to me. I don’t want to be limited in any way. I don’t want to be dishonest in any way. I want to be free. Free to be the unique manifestation that I am. I think Dr Suess summed it up well when he said “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.

Who do I want you to think I am?

I had coffee a couple weeks ago with a gentleman that I was introduced to by a member of my networking group. We had a really interesting conversation. I am finding that the universe is putting me in very interesting and authentic situations. So – this guy sits down and he doesn’t really look like he wants to be with me. I sense this and ask him if everything is okay. He looks at me and says “actually, my morning has been horrific and the last thing I want to be doing is meeting with a life insurance guy at 10am – no offense”. Oh – I said – none taken – I don’t like life insurance guys either. He laughs and then apologizes. He continues “I was on my way here and I nearly turned around and went back to the office – I am extremely busy. But then I remembered that my wife introduced you to me so I decided to suck it up. So then I asked myself who do I want Rod to think I am?” I started laughing and thanked him for his honesty. He continued ” I decided to just be honest with you about how I felt – it is too hard to keep up appearances and I am too damn old keep trying (he was only 51)”

If you are thinking that this coffee exchange is going poorly, it’s not. Because he and I started out with such an honest exchange, we were really able to bond quickly and have a wonderful conversation. We spent the next 2 hours talking about what it means to be authentic, how to serve others, what love really is and much more. Chris Rock has one of the best lines about dating — he says that when a man dates a woman, he is not really dating that woman — he is dating that woman’s representative. Don’t let your representative define you. Find your authentic self and let it shine.

If this resonates with you, the first thing I would suggest you do is sit quietly and ask yourself “who am I?”. You will likely get several answers (mother, sister, professional, ect). Then ask yourself “who am I really?”. Then ask yourself “is who I am really being projected to the outside world?”

Very cool. A shift is coming. Can you feel it?

As I look around at my friends, family, coworkers, myself and the world at large, I feel a strong shift.  A shift away from problems, greed, hatred and competition.  A shift towards love, acceptance, abundance and enlightenment.  Do you feel it?

I feel like something significant is occurring right now and we are literally moving into a whole new world.  I am ready to find out what is in store for us.  I am seeing a “best of times, worst of times” scenario for so many I know.  There is a whole new way of living coming just around the corner.  Something so significant that we will reach a tipping point of collective consciousness.  Many of us will remember who we really are and what we are really here to do.brain-manmoon

I found myself very frustrated by not being able to describe what was going on. I felt like no one understood or cared about me and what I was going through. I lashed out multiple times to loved ones for no good reason. My friends staged an intervention (Rod, what is going on?  Is everything okay? You aren’t acting like yourself.).

I have always been proud my communication skills. I am able to describe things in a way that is simple and relatable. More importantly, in a way that I think the other person will best receive the information. I am very empathetic and can easily relate with a large amount of people. It is because of my ability to find common ground quickly and understand where a person is coming from, that I can adapt or shift as necessary to deepen a connection.

While celebrating our 30th birthdays on a long weekend with close friends, something happened that blew my mind and changed everything I thought I knew about my life. I felt God that day. I understood, somehow, that there was no distinction between me and everything else. In the weeks that followed, I found myself very confused about what had occurred and what that meant for me. In the 5 years since, I have strived to understand this better. I have read as many books and Blogs that I could find. I was trying to find a way to make sense of it all and to be able to effectively communicate that to those around me.

While it is still a work in progress, I think I finally get it and I think I can explain it. At least, I can explain it how I see it. There is no chance that I can convince a skeptic – nor do I want to. I was too for 30 years. Until I wasn’t. For others, I hope they can see themselves in me and my story. Life after all is the recognition that you are not separate from others. You are not separate from God either.

Ironically the words that I will use to describe my experience will be fully inadequate to accurately describe. These are the words that I think best describe my experience (so far).

You are God manifest as you. You are a reflection of God in your unique way. You are a snowflake that when in the middle of a blizzard forgets himself. You are a prism of light reflecting God. You are a fingerprint – unique unto itself, but only one of 8 Billion alive today. You are what you think you are. You are here on purpose and of your choosing. Your life is perfect. You have a choice at every moment. You are the sum total of your choices.

I can hear you now – “Those are nice things to say, Rod. They are nice to believe, but where is the proof? My 5 senses have come to the very logical and realistic conclusion that there is NO GOD. When we die, that is it. We only have 1 go around in this life and we have to make it count. We are entirely responsible for ourselves and our path in life. Many parents put their children at a disadvantage in this world due to poor parenting choices. I will make better choices for myself and my children. It is a shame that people waste their lives away.”

That is exactly how I felt for the better part of 30 years. It wasn’t until I had a few experiences (2 others since) that were outside our 5 senses that provided me a bigger truth than I knew before. It is these experiences that can’t be proven to a skeptic but contain ALL the proof I need to know these things to be true.

This has all occurred because we designed it to from our higher perspective. We have lived countless lives and will live countless more. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change forms. Is a drop in the ocean any less than the ocean itself? Are they not 100% the same thing? The only difference is one of perspective. It has been said that enlightenment is when the wave realizes that it is the ocean. We are, indeed, ourselves. AND we are All That Is. No separation. Only different perspectives.

I am moving into another chapter in my life and if the next 50 years of my life are anything like my last 5 years, I am in for an amazing adventure.